it seems like a false pursuit. i'll never really escape will i? maybe that's ok, along as i continue the pursuit with the belief that the end goal does exist. somewhere, out there. and that it exists for me.
i am one step closer to sailing in thailand. dates settled, deposit down. next, arrange travel and mentally prepare, i'm really not exactly sure where I am going. even at this point, i wonder, why the heck am i doing this? do i really, i mean, really, want to spend 2 weeks on a boat? busting my knees, destroying my hands, destroying my confidence in being a generally competent and capable person, knowing that i still get the directions of the tiller confused, all in the face of my crippling fear of drowning in the abyss of an open body of water? brilliant emily, just brilliant. this will bring me closer to ??? freedom.
free to love or loathe this endeavor, this task i decided to subject myself to in the pursuit of other seemingly pie in the sky dreams, and all without consequence to no one but myself. deja vu. odd, i seemed to have had this conversation. probably with myself.
"a boat is freedom, not just a way to reach a goal." well, i guess we'll see where i end up.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment