Stage 1 - There are no more Wacky Wednesdays

Dear Chris,
Just yesterday, I was in a workshop on "Change". They talked about approaching change, as one might approach mourning, in stages. Stage 1 was to beging with the end, the processing on the inevitable, the change. Stage 2, the nuetral zone where acceptance of change has been tranformed into anxiety progressing to discovery once the danger zne of choice is passed. Stage 3 is where we find peace, we are on the road to new beginnings.

During the lunch break, I received word you were missing. You were on the road but no one knew where or where to. By evening we learned you were headed west, putting miles between you and your life. You covered quite a distance from DC to Missouri. You were headed west. I hoped and prayed you would keep driving until you reached San Francisco, I hoped I was your destination. I was told that the outlook was not good but I held faith that the roads were clear, the ocean air would call to you, that the outcome I was told to expect was not you. I waited for you in Stage 1 while you drove on through Stage 2.

You ended the road in Colorado. Had I known, I would have asked you to wait for me, I'll be there in less than 3 weeks. We could have talked about new beginnings. I would have come sooner. You made the choice, you ended the road, is that Stage 3? Is it peaceful where you are?

It's Wednesday. It will always be Wednesday and my heart is breaking right now. I'm at Stage 1 and you're no longer here.

Forever yours,
emily