this i know, this i am

on the road to puerto natales. December 30...

a void willed with motion
pushing the earth to the sky
bending the grass forward and backward
skipping the stream over the river rocks

a blanket of vapor suspended
pierced by lofty jagged rocks
watching my shadow form and shape below
tumulting over myself

this i know.
this i was.

is it time?

how do you know when it´s time to go? how do you know when you´re ready to leave? how do you leave? the itinerary on the board says the shuttle leaves at 8:00 am tomorrow. the trek home is a 30+ hour, 3 airport endeavor. i´m sure at some point during that period i will cross that threshold of just wanting to get home. tonight, i get to sleep one more night and awake one more day in patagonia. that is not departure, nor is it denial, it´s just what i´ve easily become accustomed to.

I questioned whether today´s excursion was a sign of overstaying a welcome. A 3 hour trek that began with a walk along the mosquito infested shoreline of the fjord that our guide then decided we could escape if we went up the hill and slaughtered our legs against millions of thorns of the el calafate bushes (um, really, is this the trail? no, really, cause I´m thinking I´d rather be down there with the mosquitoes than up here walking through bushes of razors) to then just climb back down to the swarming shoreline (hmm, guess that wasn´t such a good idea was it Jose Tomas?). Somewhere along the way, the bushes ate my camera lense cap and I had no interest in trying to retrieve it. Where is the Patagonia wind when you really need it? But we prevailed along the Picada de Nalcas and the views of the fjord and gateway to the ocean were lovely. Especially after couple of pisco sours, which I´m convinced worked as a decent alternative to Citronella.

Ultimately, it was the hotel driveway that got me, that told me my feet and legs can go no further as I slipped on the gravel. I completed the W and Fitz Roy without incident, even against prevailing winds, but the driveway was simply too much.

good night.

empty handed, full hearted

To my friends,
I would like to apologize in advance for returning to you empty handed. I have searched every town for souvenirs to bring to you but have found nothing fitting, or packable AND fitting, to express what I treasure most here and think you would treasure equally. I wish I could bottle the air for you to breath, harness the wind for you to feel in your hair, box the sunrises to wake you each day. I can´t find these in the local shops. Lots of lapiz, copper and silver, cute t-shirts and itchy woolen things, stickers and posters and mate gourds and silver straws which while lovely, I don´t feel mean much. The wine is worth bringing but not at all packable. I wish I could carry 10 lbs of beef like Katie and Doug but I don´t think I would ever get out of customs. Please don´t believe I don´t think of you, I am always thinking of you. I promise you this, I will leave a part of me here so that we can visit together, or you on your own, sometime in the future.

Emily

what are the odds

300+ kids in a graduating class
all the continents in the world
all the countries in the southern hemisphere
all the regions that patagonia encompasses
all the hotels in puerto natales
365 days out of the year
3 excursions to choose from

that i end up riding horses along side a fellow classmate from high school. hello, small world.

really, can someone calculate those odds? fascinating.

tody, we were like cowboys, gauchos, riding along the perimeter of the 300 hectare spread, riding high, riding low, across and above the land far below, with the dogs at the horses hooves, chasing the cattle back in line. from above, we watched the plane take off, and the condor soar. hmm, is this the good life, the life of the cowboy?

Inside Out

After 6 hours on the bus (including the 2 hours at the border control stations, that's right, one in Argentina and further down the road, one in Chile), I have departed Argentina and am now back in Puerto Natales, Chile. This is the last portion of my trip, the present to my self for having come this far, (see www. remota.cl ). I don't normally play like this, this is far grander than a beach house for a birthday weekend. I could celebrate my birthday 4 times here.

Remota is a concept hotel at its best, with lake and mountain views, gourmet meals and endless copa de vino. and excursions included. The building, at least in my interpretation, with its rhythmic, angular floor to ceiling windows, segmented by black timber, resembles a glacier crushing upon itself towards the lake. Grass covered rooftops and rough hewn wood timbers suggest a green element to the design. But sitting at lunch, admiring the view of Torres del Paine across the lake, watching the grass bend and shudder in the wind, and the lake peaking white caps, what struck me was the silence. After a week out there, here I am inside, in the comforts of luxury and I can no longer hear or feel the Patagonia wind I've become accustomed to. The roof isn't going to fly off, the walls don't amplify the weather outside. It is as though I've suddendly become deaf. And can no longer breath. The air inside has no scent, no temperature, no humidity. No movement. All the movement is out there. And out there is where I prefer to be.

hablo ingles?

Thanks goodness for editing on the internet. my spanish has not improved but my english seems to deteriorated. In case you didn´t catch it, I don´t think ¨ravished¨ is an english word. It sounded and looked right at the time.

I´m also thankful to have something to look forward to return to. Camryn´s 3rd birthday party is coming up and Kerry has asked me to be the face painting lady. That makes me happy to think about rather than lamenting over leaving.

Fitz Roy

I am now back in El Calafate. One might think this shuttling back and forth via bus would get old but truthfully, it seems to be the most effective way for me to get some shut eye.

Fitz Roy really deserves its own paragraph. It was truely magnificent to see the towers jutting up high above the landscape below, and the other snow covered peaks that look prime for carving a few turns in the distance (well, maybe with a heli and a few more feet of snow). Round trip, it was about a 25k hike. The top portion, much like Torres del Paine, required climbing up rocks the size of pets and small children. At some point, I did not want to go on. As is stopped to snap some photos and watched others continue further up to the top, the aching in my feet said, ¨ahh the view is good from here, no need to go further, Laguna de Los Tres, it´s just another lake...¨. But my heart said, ¨go on, you know there´s a reward for you up there¨. And so I pushed on. Part way, I saw Ian and Dave make their way down from the top, we exchanged a few words and they assured me it was only another 2 minutes.

The wind picked up as I approached the top but sure enough, the glory of the towers and the turquoise colored laguna at the base were more impressive than I could have imagined. The wind was pushing the snow from the steeps down creating a mysticism. The sky was still blue but large clouds began to close in around the tower. Moments after I snapped my last photo and packed up to head down, the wind slammed down from the top sending everyone to find a boulder to grab onto. Then the snow began to whip around. It became imperative to get down the trail as quickly as possible. As I pounded my way back down, I was giddy with disbelief in the good fortune I had to have approached Fitz Roy moments before the weather ravaged it from view. I felt sorry for everyone I passed on my way down who were making their way up. I turned around near the first lookout I ran up to earlier that morning, and could find no sign of the towers.

I met up with Dave and Ian for dinner. Over gigantic Argentinian steaks we were all still glowing from the fantastic day we had at Fitz Roy. They were impressed with my self-motivation to arise early enough to get a start on the trail as early as I did. I nodded and gave myself the proverbial pat on the back.

Patagonia trekking

There´s something peculiar when you find exactly what you´ve been looking for. The emotions are really overwhelming.

Today, I hiked alone to Fitz Roy in El Chalten. In hindsight, the week in Torres del Paine was in someway just preparing me for this.

Day 1: Eco Camp to Los Cuernos, 11+K, approx 5 hours. This is one of the most amaxing trails I´ve ever walked on. Every turn affords you a spectacular view of the glacier formed massifs and Lago Nordenskjold. The color of the lakes is unreal. How could such a trail exist? How could every single view be so beholding? Our stay at Refugio Los Cuernos sets us up in cabins that face the lake, a waterfall beside the cabins and the Cuernos massifs in the background with their shear granite faces rising 2000+ meters before being capped off with the jagged peaks that form the horns.

Day 2: Los Cuernos to Valle de Frances to Refugio Pehoe Grand, 16K, approx 8 hours. The Patagonia wind blew heavily all through the night. I wondered if the roof of the cabin might just fly off at some point. The hike was long, but the scenery amazing. It´s the last day of 2008 and here is where I am. To celebrate, the refugio threw a festive party for all. We even all managed to stay up past midnight.

Day 3: Pehoe Grande to Glacier Grey to Eco Camp, 11K, approx 4 hours. It may have been the 4.5 hours of sleep, or maybe a few too many new year´s drinks, but this day was challenging, despite it being an easier day. The best part of this day was the boat ride across Lago Grey where we pass the glaciers. They are tremendous and the depths of blues within these walls of ice is fascinating. A pisco sour with glacier ice was a great way to take off the dragging feeling of the day.

Day 4: Eco Camp to Torres del Paine, approx 20K, 8+ hours. I can not believe our fortune as the day began with a rainbow and warm morning air. The hike to view the towers is grueling, the last 800 meters taking over an hour both up and down as we clamber over boulders, and brace ourselves against gusts that pin you to the rocks. The climb up seems endless from the moment we started, and just punishment as we approached the top. But then suddenly, there they are. And what a fantastic day for view them. I had no idea there was a lake at the base of the towers. On the return, my knees screamed at me, my ankles threatened to twist and my feet protested every movement. I promised my feet I would spend the extra money on the orange insoles if they would just get me to the top of the hill where camp was. There was beer there, I was told. That´s all we needed to know to make it home. A beer in the sun after a specatular day at the towers...

Day 5: Eastern Lakes, 11k, approx 4.5 hours. The women getting ready in the morning were all trying to find a way to not have to make the climb to the towers that morning, the rain and the wind that blew in overnight did not let up in the morning. Our group spent the less than ideal day on a nice drive out to the eastern lakes. The bumps and dips in the road rocked me to sleep as I dreamed of the wooly sheep and wind that passed just outside the windows of the van. The weather was bad enough to break out the rain pants, hood pulled up, the constant rain was a little damper on our spirits but the view at the top was a nice reward.

Yesterday, one could consider it a day of rest if 8+ hours on 3 busses is restful.

Today, setting out from the hostel just before 9, I made my way to the other side of town to the trail head. The morning sky was clear and I knew it would be a great day. Fitz Roy called to me. As I approached about an hour in the hike up, I saw the towers rise above everything else, their energy drew me and I ran up the hill the the lookout. I could not believe what I was seeing. I wanted to cry. What is it but just rock and snow and crumbled rocks! I don´t know, but they drew me nearer and further and harder up the climb than anything else.

Long bus rides, typing fast, counting pesos

What a luxury is has been to be able to hike for 5 consecutive days in this amazing landscape, and yes, we lucked out, we had sun everyday except for the last. Torres del Paine was spectacular every single day. The glacier fed lakes and rivers, the cerros and massifs. The air, the trees. Ah and we can´t forget the new years party at Refugio Paine Grande!

I am now in El Calafate, waiting for the 18:30 bus to El Chalten. I have a slight problem, rather, every tourist here has a slight problem today. It is Sunday and as it would be, every single ATM in town in out of cash. I´m counting both my Argentinian and Chilean pesos along with my US dollars and hoping I have enough cash combined to pay for my accomdations in El Chalten. Right, and there are no ATMs in El Chalten. So I must type quickly as every 15 minutes here is another 2.50 pesos.

It is my last week here in Patagonia, it has been so easy to be here. I will save my pesos now and go sit at the bus station for the remaining 3 hours.